Why I Chose to Not be Tan this Summer

If you recall, one of my original goals for the gap year was to be a glowing, bronzy, sun kissed shade of tan by this summer. That, however, is not going to happen. I have decided that his whole tanning process is just not worth it, and I will tell you why...

1. It is stressful to me. You have to make an effort to go to the pool or beach and lie out in the blistering heat. If you don't have time or don't stay long enough, you are mad at yourself. Bummed out, if you will. You have to make sure you don't get awkward tan lines, you spend money on lots of sunblock, turn over to make sure you're even... Well, I'm not doing it anymore, society. I'm going to the pool to go to the pool. I will sit under an umbrella and read a book and casually dip my lily white self into it every adult swim and be perfectly happy. 

2. People only care if you are tan for about three months out of the year. As soon as school starts again and everyone puts their clothes back on, nobody really cares. That is a lot of effort for such a short time.

3. I'm naturally fair skinned and have bleached blonde hair. If I were tan, it would just look weird. I cannot believe I did not realize this before. I can rock being pale; I have decided to embrace it! My endeavors to stay out of the sun also have caused me to need a lighter shade of makeup. I am now, officially, the lightest shade ULTA sells. Just call me porcelain. 

4. It is healthier and will be more attractive in the long run. I hate to sound like your momma, but how many times will you burn before you learn? UV rays can be incredibly dangerous and fair girls like me need to be careful! Exposure to the sun also causes wrinkles later in life. My mom and several ladies I know often say they wish they had worn more sunblock and been careful around the sun. I would rather look like Nicole Kidman than the tanning mom in twenty years! 

5. I am on a prescription medicine that does NOT play when it warns, "avoid excessive exposure to sunlight."

So there you have it! My 5 reasons for being pale. Want to see a comparison?

July 4th, 2011 and July 4th, 2012!

I've never been the kind of girl to use tanning beds, spray tan or self tanning lotions and I feel so relieved to not have to worry about being tan ever again. Some friends have already been making fun of how pale I am, but you know what? I love it!

I think society's obsession with being tan is bollocks. If you have the natural ability to get dark, go for it, but don't subject your body to dangerous behaviors. If we're going to be honest here, half the time girls who go all out to tan do not even look good. 

Just be careful girls, and make sure you're tanning because you actually want to, not because you feel you have to.

Frances

My sweet grandmother, Frances McFerrin, is not doing very well. The past four years we have watched her get weaker, moving from her senior living community to an assisted living home, to one that provides more care, to the emergency room back in May, to a nursing home and now back at her home under hospice care. 

She has always been the strongest woman, a truly great lady full of grace and kindness. I can only hope I am like her one day. 

It's just so heartbreaking. I know some people say that religion is only good for comforting people... I just believe it to my core that when we die we do not just cease to exist. There are souls inside of us. Without them we would be nothing. Souls are what allow us to fight and to love and to appreciate everything good and beautiful. Souls are what make us greater than animals. I know they exist because I see my grandmother giving up hers a little more each day. I just want Him to call her home to be with her husband and her sisters. 

My mother already asked me to make a memorial video for her. I don't know if you look at my other blog If I Were Artemis regularly, but that is why I have been scanning all these vintage pictures. You can see a few more here.

Frances is second from the left and first on the left

The past few weeks have been so overwhelmingly difficult. I have been trying to get ready to leave for college in August and I am too emotionally exhausted to deal with anything. We come home from caring for her and just go to bed most nights or I zone out in front of the computer, not accomplishing anything. I have a few more goals that I really wanted to hit hard this month but you know what, it's just not going to happen. We are all just too tired and that is okay.

Throughout all this, I have learned that family is the most important bond we can have, never take it for granted, and that in the end we all return to dust. The greatest thing we can accomplish in life is to love one another with everything that we have. You can't take anything with you; the only thing that matters is the legacy you leave behind.

"For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s"     - Romans 14:8